Southern Belle Sallie Rose

Sallie Rose went to church for the first time before we left for Texas. She wore her green, smock dress that was hand made by my friend Natalie's Mom. She had a matching bonnet that I had to take her picture in, but she did not wear it to church. Kevin was not too sure about it. He thought she looked like a girl from Little House on the Prairie. What's wrong with that?

Sallie Rose off to her Motherland

We are leaving for Texas early tomorrow morning and I am so excited I could scream! Of course I am also nervous about taking a 2 month old on a two day drive, but I am sure she will do fine. She is getting her first round of vaccinations today so that worries me a little too. No matter what, we are leaving tomorrow and will cross the Texas line on Friday afternoon. Sallie Rose will know she is "home" once she smells the fresh air that is only present in the great state of Texas.

I just hope when it is time to leave after Christmas we will be able to get her in the car to come back to Savannah. Kevin claims she is a Georgia girl just because she was born here, but no one with my family blood will ever be a Georgia girl. Maybe half Georgia girl, but never full Georgian. Its just part of it. I have nothing against Georgians, but Texans, oh us Texans, we are something else. So proud of our state and for good reason!

Merry Christmas to everyone.

She Smiles

First Thanksgiving and first family outing

Sallie Rose is now 6.5 weeks old. This last week she had her first Thanksgiving and she slept right through it. I bought her a new dress and all she did was sleep in it. I have a friend who has 4 adorable nephews who range in the ages of 5 to 8. We stopped over at her family's before heading to the Beckwiths, so that Sallie Rose could decide which of the boys she wanted to date later. Arranged marriages are making a comeback, at least in our household. I would hate for her to grow up and get to choose who she marries. What if she is like her Mom and marries someone 21 years older than her. I can't have that! I am joking! We had a great Thanksgiving and Sallie Rose was adorable as usual.

Saturday we went downtown to see the big Holiday Celebration. We heard there was going to be ice skating and fake snow for the kids to play in. Crazy as I am, I thought we would take Sallie Rose down there and take her picture in the fake snow. I got her all dressed up and what do you know, she slept right through it all. We still had a lot of fun and it was nice to get out of the house as a family.

Sallie Rose has been a great baby so far, but we are having some day sleeping issues. You take her somewhere in the carseat and she sleeps the whole time. When we get home and put her in her bed she immediately wakes up and cries. So, now I am having to "break" her of her day sleeping habits. I put her in her bed and she cries and I check on her every once in a while and then she finally falls asleep after about 45 minutes of crying. And then I think "great she is asleep", but that only lasts for about 20 or 30 minutes. Then she is up again. What a hard job! I think she will finally get it one day, Lord I hope!

It is hard to hear her cry and I wonder sometimes if she is going to be mad at me when she wakes up, but then there she is lying in her crib smiling and cooing. Now that she is smiling and laughing all the hard parts seem to go right away.

Here she is: Miss Sallie Rose

Yesterday was Sallie Rose's one month birthday. I hired clowns, circus animals, and magicians to come to the house to help celebrate her one month of being alive. Not really. I did however change her diapers, feed her, and hold her for her one month birthday. That is all she really likes to do right now.

She has been a very good baby thus far. She sleeps good at night and only really cries when she has gas or is hungry. Her gas was pretty bad in the beginning but I think now that her tummy has grown she is getting less and less gasy. She is still as beautiful as the first moment we saw her and she gets more personality every day. My favorite time of the day is when she wakes up and stretches her little arms and kicks her legs. Then, she will go through all the faces that she knows how to make and I just watch. At night her Dad sings songs to her and he holds her up and pretends she can walk. She will be walking by next month. I can already tell she is ahead of the pack. Genius and strong like her MOM.

Here are a few pictures of her on her one month birthday. Her aunt Tara came to help her celebrate her big day.

And yes, she has a lot of hair and it sticks straight up. I don't fix her hair in a mohawk every morning, that is natural.

Happy Birthday Grandma Rosa Lee

Today is a day that I knew would make me sad. It would have been my Grandma Rosa Lee's 88th birthday. I knew that one day she would not be with us anymore, but I had hoped it would be longer than her 87th birthday. I hoped that she would get to hold all of my and my sister Tara's kids and tell us many more times that we needed to lose weight, cut our hair, or see a doctor about our teeth. She was such an honest person, but she knew how to be honest and caring at the same time. Many of us think we are doing the World a favor by being honest or "blunt", but she really had a way of being honest in a kind way.

Grandma Rosa died last year on November 14th. She did celebrate her 87th birthday with her family, but just a week later she went on to be the Angel she was always meant to be. I could go on for days about how great she was and how much she did for me and my family, but most people who will read this also know how great she was. She touched so many people's lives outside of her closest friends and family. She was a generous giver, caretaker, volunteer, and she had a sense of humor that stayed with her until her last breath. I credit my Grandma for so many of the wonderful things in my life. She was a person that I could talk to about certain problems and she would give very wise advice and I never felt like I was being judged. She was positive, Christian, and selfless.

Although I am sad that I can't call her and tell her Happy Birthday and ask her if she is going to go party (she would always say yes), I am so grateful that I had the chance to spend 27 years of my life with her and have her as my Grandma. Having a heartache and feeling so much pain when you lose someone might not seem like a gift, but to love someone so much that it hurts so bad is a gift. I miss her everyday, as I know many of us do, but I know she lives on through me, my sister, Dad, cousins, aunts, uncles, and now through my baby, Sallie Rose. I always knew that I could never tell her thank you enough or do anything that would ever amount to what she has done for me, but naming my daughter in honor of her is one way of trying. I just hope that I can be half the person she was and now I hope that Sallie Rose has inherited her Grandma Rosa Lee's heart and soul (she didn't get her red hair which I had hoped for too).

Grandma, Happy Birthday to you and keep us all in line as you watch over us and guide us to be better people to everyone in our lives. I want to make you proud and do wonderful things for other people without recognition, just as you did. I miss you, I love you, and I will never go a day without thanking God for you.

Pearl, Santa Claus, and Grandma Rosa Lee

Baby Room Finished

I finished her room one day before her due date. Every picture is hung, all the storage containers are in place, the monitor is hung on the wall, and the diaper caddy is ready. What a relief to have all that in place. I hope my baby girl loves her new room and how much thought and love we put into it. The only thing left to do is put pictures of her and her family in the frames. The room is just waiting on her and so are her Mom and Dad

Scatter Brained

I guess I have been a little scattered brained waiting on my baby to arrive. I just realized that I missed posting a Happy Birthday to my oldest sister, Suzanne, on September 8th and my "other mom's", Patty, yesterday. I also haven't been very good at calling people back or getting done what I need to do for the day. I feel a little overwhelmed with small things and forget to take the time to do other things. Scatter Brained!

So, Suzanne (who is probably working too hard and too much to read my blog) I am sorry that I didn't post you a Happy Birthday blog. I hope you will forgive me and that you know how much you mean to me and how great you are to everyone in your life. You are definitely one of my role models, not only as a woman, but as a mother, sister, daughter, and friend. I am not sure I know anyone else that can put together a great party, raise a beautiful child, and run a successful business the way that you do. Oh, and you are extremely beautiful and carry yourself with such great confidence. I love the way you interact with people too. You are always so charming, polite, and attentive to everyone you speak with. I respect the way you kindly listen to other people's idiotic ideas and never tell them they are wrong or judge them. However, you also know when the time is right to say how you feel and when you disagree. You edit yourself and I strive to be like that. You are extremely wonderful and I am so proud to call you my sister.

Patty, Happy Birthday to you, one day late. I refer to Patty as "my other mom". We used to say step mom, but that really isn't what she is. She has been married to my Dad for 14 years (I think) and she has become a very important person in my life. I am very fortunate to have been born to a wonderful Mom who raised me and who I am most alike in many of my characteristics, but I was also blessed to have a woman marry my Dad that loves him and loves us too, as her additional children. Families are so complex now and mine is no exception. For a long time I would not accept that my family had changed and that it was not my Mom and Dad who would be married til death do them part. In the end, I think all parties have found their happiness and we are all making the best of a pretty damn good situation. Life is what you make of it, it can be good or you can sit around all day and bitch about how it should be different. I finally accepted the changes in my life and thankfully in time to realize that it is ok to have one more really great woman in my life.

Back to Patty. Patty is a great mother. She has two children that she has supported and loved throughout their entire lives. For the past years that I have known her, she has done the same for me. She has never once pushed her ideas or opinions on me or my life and she is respectful to the decisions I make. I honestly can say that I am not sure that I have ever heard her join in on conversations of bad mouthing people. She always seems to be the one to try and put out the fire before someone's feelings get hurt. She loves to give without recognition. Christmas is a big deal at their house. We are all grown adults, but we still pretend like Santa brings all of our huge bags of stocking stuffers and gifts. Patty just likes to see how excited we get about all the neat gadgets and toys we find on Christmas morning. She makes it fun and takes an enormous amount of time to put everything for us kids together. She will be anywhere that any of us need her and will drop her duties in her life to make it happen. Now she is a Grandma and will be able to unconditionally love more kids and do a damn good job at it. All her grandkids will be so lucky to have her as their Grandma P, Mayme, GiGi, GaGa or whatever Grandma names the kids come up with. So Patty happy birthday and thank you for all you do for your family.

Words Can not Explain

Sometimes there are no words to explain how grateful I am to God for the loved ones in my life. It is unimaginable how I got so lucky to be blessed with so many people who I love so much. I would do anything for their happiness and I know they would do anything for mine as well. The best part is that when you get married, you receive another group of people who love you just because they love your husband/wife.

Now, my baby girl (name coming soon) will soon inherit these people as well. She is already so loved just because she is her mommy and daddy's child. I pray for her that she will also make friends throughout her life to add to her list of loved ones. I also pray that God will give her sisters or brothers to share her life with. The amount of time a person spends with their siblings creates a bond that is unbreakable and unique.

She's a big girl!

Yesterday was our 36 week checkup and we got to see the baby again on the ultrasound. The machine estimated her weight at 6lbs 11oz! She is making her way up the scales with 3 more weeks to go. Oh my goodness. I know that sometimes those estimates are not accurate, but we are still prepared to have a healthy baby girl that might be a little bigger than we expected.

They also said that she has long legs, big feet, and lots of hair. Kevin never fails to ask if her hair is red, and of course every time the lady says she can't tell. The ultrasound lady doesn't have much of personality when she is working. Everything looked good and she was practicing her breathing, her heart was beating, and she has all her toes, fingers and other limbs.

There is her big foot

This one is the front of her face with her arm coming over

This is a shot from under her chin, showing her mouth and under her nose. What a cute button nose.

Thank you God for our baby girl and for all the joy she has already brought her parents, grandparents, aunts, and cousins. I can't get over what a miracle this all is and how blessed we are.

Last month

Wow, I can't believe that we are in our last few weeks of pregnancy. I say we meaning me, the little baby, and of course Kevin. Kevin has been a wonderful husband and awaiting dad. Don't get me wrong I still feel like I have definitely gone through more than him, so I will still have that to hold over his head, but at the same time he has done his preparing in a different way. He has waited hand and foot on me, listened to me complain about not being close enough to my family, and let me nag him a little bit about the things that I feel have not gotten done fast enough. I only have 3.5 more weeks to be needy, tired, and hog the couch in order to put my swollen feet up. He is going to be so happy to have the couch back.

Overall, it has been a great experience and I really have no major complaints except for the usual pregnancy symptoms that every woman goes through. I will miss her moving around inside my belly and wondering what she is doing and what she is thinking. When she moves all I can do is stare down and wait for her next move. I love watching her play and get so frustrated that no one else gets to see her when she does her big jumps. I am already so proud of her and can't wait to show her off to everyone I know. I guess its time to admit that I am a Mommy. Oh my goodness, that is so BIG!

I just pray that she is healthy, happy, and that Kevin and I can be as good of parents as both of our parents were and are. We are so blessed with all of our families and I know this baby girl will be spoiled rotten with love from her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. She already is, really.

The big question now is: What will she look like? I am so excited to see her face and to see if she will have bright red hair like her mom, Grandma Rosa Lee, Aunt Melanie, Aunt Glenda, and Aunt Sara. The odds are pretty good, but if she comes out with crazy brown hair like her Dad, that will be fine too. The suspense is just killing me though! I am sure she will look a little bit like me and a little bit like Kevin. We will know soon enough. How can she be anything other than adorable, I mean, take a look at me and Kevin when we were little. Precious lil ones!

Staycation

Today is Kevin and my 3rd wedding anniversary. I can't believe it has been 3 years since we had our amazing wedding in the Caymans. I think for our 5 year anniversary we will invite all our friends and family back down to Grand Cayman and do it all over again. I think everyone might show up again.

So for our anniversary we decided we needed a weekend vacation; however, Kevin was a little weary about leaving town with his wife 8.5 months pregnant. I am not sure he knows that they have hospitals in other towns, but I appreciate his concern and care. So, we decided to stay here in Savannah at the Mansion on Forsyth Park. It is a beautiful hotel with a really nice restaurant, rooftop bar and spa. We had massages on Saturday afternoon, had a great dinner that night, and then drank coffee on the rooftop and enjoyed the nice weather. Sunday we layed by the pool and then went out to the beach for the first time all summer. It was really nice and relaxing. Sunday night we ate at a nice restaurant downtown and I had my first glass of Riesling since I got pregnant. Oh my my my! It was so good, I could have drank the whole damn bottle, but I stopped at a half a glass.

Monday we slept in (well I slept in and Kevin went to the house to let Casey out), checked out of the hotel, drove around downtown for 10 minutes, and went home and took naps. It might not have been our most exciting vacation ever, but we enjoyed being away from the house and not worrying about what we needed to do for our chores.

Oh, and I wore a bikini for the first time. Very hard decision, but I felt so free and liberated. There were only a few people at the pool and they were predominately older guys. In fact, one of the guys had on a swimsuit that was yellow, tight, and see thru. This was no small guy either. It was pretty funny, and made me feel less likely to be judged. One of his friends was wearing a speedo too, so it was a great day to let my baby belly hang out and get a little sun.

It was a good time and I can't believe I have been given such a wonderful husband and now the gift of a child to share with him. This was definitely a very special anniversary for us both. We are so blessed and grateful.

8 months! Wowzers!

Well, as much as I don't want to post any pictures of me at 8 months pregnant, I feel like it would be unfair to those who haven't seen me in all my glory. Ok, its not that bad, but check out the Incredible Hulk hands that I'm sporting. That's the best part.

Other than a little bit of swelling and a horrible pain under my rib, I feel fine. Everything is still going well and we are 7 weeks away from our due date. It gets more and more exciting every week. I forgot to mention that after the big weekend of baby showering and family visiting, I did have to wear a surgical shoe on my left foot because I had a stress fracture. It really was no big deal, it is already off, but my feet were under a lot of stress from all my extra weight. My poor little feet aren't used to carrying around that much person.

Sara Kristine

Happy Birthday Sara!!!

Well, 33 years ( I think that's how old she is) ago on this day, my sister Sara was born into this World. Most people think that we look like twins, but I think it is just the red hair. Yes, she was lucky enough to be born a red head just like me. We are a rare kind and Sara is even more rare than just being a red head. She has always been the one in our family to be the most laid back and would go along with anything as long as it included the rest of us. She is funny, smart, beautiful, and some times really full of bullshit. She loves to give people a hard time, and she loves to be given a hard time.

Sara and I always had a special bond. The four of us sisters had such close relationships, but they are all different. I am the youngest and Sara loved to recruit me to join in on any of her wild adventures that usually included tormenting Tara. Of course that resulted in a lot of beatings from Tara when Sara wasn't around to protect me. I loved hanging out with Sara though. I loved being her sidekick. I loved the thought of us two redheads sticking together to act out mischeviousness. Although, I would still consider myself a very good child.

Well, Sara has grown up now and is a Mom to Madison Riley. She has raised Madison for the last 13 years by herself and has done an amazing job. Her parenting skills might be different from some of the rest of the World's, but it works for her and for Madison. Madison is a good hearted child who loves everyone and forgives everyone at the drop of a pin. She is very well behaved for a 13 year old and has stayed out of trouble, except for talking a lot in school. No one can take credit for her besideds Sara. They have fun together and laugh a lot. They have been through some really hard times because of Sara's unexplainable health problems. Despite all that, they are both happy and healthy.

At one point, we didn't know if Sara would make it through her many surgeries and hospital visits, but she did. We all prayed and prayed that God would allow her to stay here with us and with Madison and now I am still so thankful for that. I love being around Sara. We have so much fun. We don't talk about serious issues too often, but most of the time that is a good break. We try to enjoy one another's personalities and forget that the World or we might not be perfect. There is plenty of time to discuss everyone's faults and how someone else feels about our faults. We laugh and most of the time, we laugh really hard. When Sara isn't laughing, I know something is wrong. I would never want her to be anyone but herself. She's not just funny though, she is giving and would step in front of a bus for any of us. She would drop anything she was doing if I called and told her I needed her. She loves her family and is very loyal to us all.

I miss you and would give anything to be with you on your birthday Sara. Have a great day and know that you are so special to me and to so many. People with personalities like yours don't get told that as much as some others, but its true. I respect you and love you very much.

She is going to hate me for putting up this picture, but I love it. It shows her silly side and that is what I love her most for.

Happy 1st Birthday BB

Today is Miss Betty Beatrice's birthday. Betty (BB) turns one year old today. She is the first child of my cousin, Grace and her husband Justin. Grace and I grew up together and were best friends throughout our whole lives as well as family. Now, she has a one year old and I have one on the way. Time really does get away from you. I really wish that our two daughters could run the streets together like we did, but situations are different and we will get them together as much as possible.

BB you have your whole life ahead of you and I know you may look a lot like your daddy, but believe me, if you are as half as intelligent as your mommy you will do great things in life. Both of your parents are fun, creative, generous, loving, and good people. You really have no idea how much love you will get from the two of them, as well as the rest of your loving extended family. I know how great your mommy's family is and I am sure Daddy's family is just as great! I am sorry we couldn't make it for your birthday party, but maybe next year we will bring your cousin, baby girl Beckwith, to your 2nd birthday. Happy Birthday BB!

Birthdays this Week

Well, I had a very busy last week and super busy weekend. So I have some catching up to do on my birthdays.

Happy Birthday Kam!!

First, Monday was Kam DeLeon's birthday!!!! Happy Birthday Kam and I am sorry this wasn't up on Monday. I know you know that our parents and sister Tara were still here on Monday, so hopefully you will forgive the tardiness of my posting.

I know this was Kam's first birthday as a Mommy. I bet that is a birthday to remember. I hope that you and Terri and Vin had a wonderful day together and that you got some much needed sleep for your gift. From what I can tell, you are doing an amazing job at taking care of Vin. He is growing so much and getting more and more handsome in every picture. Kam has always been so thoughtful and such a fun loving person. She is always down to try new things and open herself up to anyone that comes around her. She has a great smile and uses it a lot.

We have been "sisters" for I think 13 years. When I say "sisters" I mean we weren't born sisters, but our parents married and then we became step-sisters. I decided this weekend that I don't like using the term step, but it does help people understand the dynamics of your family. The point is: I don't know everything there is to know about Kam and vis versa, but we have still shared a lot and our parents are so good about getting all of us together for family time. I am sure as our lives continue we will learn more and more about one another. I would have to say that Kam is one of the most daring and creative people I have ever known and I respect her for always pursuing her goals. Happy Birthday Kam!!

Kam, Terri, and Vin

I hope the baby likes pink

Well, we finally started the preparing of the baby room. I had initially wanted to do a non traditional color, but Kevin really wanted to have the room pink. He thinks that every little girl deserves to have one pink room until they decide they don't want pink anymore. Well, he sure got his pink room and now he probably is rethinking that decision. I am sure that he was hoping for a more pastel pink, but I really don't like pastel pink and I picked the color.

I admit, it is a little overwhelmingly pink, but it is for our little, pink princess. As a redhead, I have never owned anything pink, not a notebook, not a shirt, nothing. I never thought pink and red hair went well together. I hope that if our little one does have red hair that she won't feel the same way her Mom does until she is a lot older. I don't want to have to repaint the room for a while. So here is a sneak peek of the paint job.

4th of July

Kevin and I had a small cookout in our backyard full of fun, food, friends, and fireworks. I took the opportunity to get a friend to take a picture of Kevin and myself so everyone could see how happy we both our to be in our 6th month of pregnancy.

Everything is still going really well and we are just trying to prepare for our baby girl by buying her furniture, cleaning out the house, and staying as healthy as we can. Of course Kevin and I both took advantage of the holiday and ate hot dogs, hamburgers, baked beans, and Popsicles. I sure do love Popsicles in the summer. I actually found some that were sugar free so I don't feel as guilty about eating 2 a day. It's hot, gimme a break, they're sugar free I said.

I had to at least buy some sparklers so Natalie, Jennifer, and I could spell our names in flames.

What to Expect When Expecting: Short version

I have decided I am going to write a book that is a really short and to the point version of what women should expect when they are pregnant. The other books are helpful, but I really have found it unnecessary to read why I have all the ailments that I do. The point is that most women will have these symptoms and there is really nothing you can do about it. So, do you really need to know why your head hurts for 3 weeks or is it ok just to know that it is normal?

Here is my book up to the beginning of the 3rd trimester:

First trimester

• You will be so tired that you wonder what is wrong with you. Then one day you realize that something might be happening. Oh, I might be pregnant.
• You feel nauseated, some women actually vomit, some don't.
  
• You are so hungry all the time, especially in the middle of the night. Of course you are so tired that it takes the pain of hunger to actually get you out of bed to get anything to eat.
  
• You are irritable from being hungry and tired. You also might not feel like yourself and wonder if you will ever feel like yourself again. You will, on occasion.
• Your husband or partner will want to tell everyone you know that the two of you are having a baby. They will most likely want to tell everyone separately in a special way and you are way to irritable to do that. Then you are more irritated.
• You begin to outgrow your clothes and wonder if it is really time to move on to maternity clothes. You should eventually just break down and buy some, you'll feel much better in them.
  
• Did I already mention that you will be tired, you will, so tired.
  
• The first ultrasound is exciting, but it will be uncomfortable and painful. Especially for husbands. However, you do get to see your little peanut, sweet pea, or whatever you choose to refer to it by the way it looks.
  

Second Trimester:

• You will slowly begin to feel better and more like yourself. You might actually be in good enough of a mood to be excited when people want to talk about you having a baby.
• Heartburn begins, even if you have never had heartburn before, you will most likely have heartburn now. It is very easy to know when you have heartburn. Tums are wonderful and they have calcium.
• You might experience very painful headaches for a long period of constant time. Tylenol doesn't seem to help, but a little caffeine goes a long way. Sure, you might not be drinking caffeine, but after 4 days of having a headache, it will be very helpful.
• Other people's opinions. That is a big one. They will tell you what you should and shouldn't do and they will tell you if they think you are "too big" or "too small" for you stage in your pregnancy. Your doctor is the one you should trust and listen to. People should really mind their own business and think about whether they are too small or too big and whether or not they are eating healthy.
  
• Your baby is growing and so is your ass, thighs, stomach, and chin. It's going to happen even if you workout, watch what you eat, or are "thin". It is a part of the process of the miracle of birth.
  
• Back ache, feet ache, leg ache, and so forth are normal. As well as a little bit of swelling at the end of the day. There might also be parts of your body that have a tingly sensation, known to my doctor as a "hot spot". I don't know what it is, but it is annoying. I think it has something to do with nerves and your baby pushing on them.
• You get to find out the sex of the baby. It is very special to see your baby again and how much he or she has grown. Hearing the heartbeat is also very special. These things really help to outweigh the annoying symptoms.
  
• You start thinking about all the things you have to do to prepare for a baby. It can seem overwhelming, but take it one step at a time and it will be fine.
  

So, that is my book thus far. I know that it will probably change women's lives all around the World. I have finally found my purpose!!!! Thank goodness, I am exhausted.

Nice Surprises

I am feeling a little sentimental today so try not to gag too much on this entry. It might be from my first yoga class that I took last night. Yoga is a little too "hippy" for me, but it is a nice change. The quiet time, concentrating on your body, listening to soft, instrumental music, the voice of the instructor so monotone and sweet. Who knows if that stuff really helps, but it did make me relax and think about how uncomfortable I am in quiet situations.

The point is nice surprises in life. We go through our days so routine and so numb to a lot of things, but there are some situations that really make you smile and get you all warm and fuzzy inside. I think a lot about people that I really loved and enjoyed at certain parts of my life and now for whatever reason we are out of touch. Sometimes I get sad to think that there are certain people that I might never see again or hear their voice, but there are others that pop up and give you a sense of a happy time in your life. I wouldn't say that I have had a lot of friends, but the friends that I have had were very high in quality. I am more of a quality versus quantity person. I was lucky to have friends that had quality and that I will always feel so close too whether we are in touch or not. They will always have a special place in my heart.

Other nice surprises are cards or calls from people that come for no reason other than they were thinking about you. I wish I did that more for other people, because I know how good it makes me feel. A couple of weeks ago I received a box from my dad and Patty and it had things from Grandma Rosa's house. That was a nice surprise, sad, but nice. It had all sorts of things in it that smelt like my Grandma, but the most touching one was a letter that they had found from me to Grandma. Grandma has been gone since November and the pain goes away a little everyday, but I never go a day without thinking about her. Seeing the letter from me to her was so emotional and made me realize that she is always with me. She taught me so much and gave me so much that she can never not be a part of me. I do have her red hair too, so that is one thing she gave me that always makes me think of her.

This particular letter was from 1996. We had moved to Amarillo when I was in 6th grade (which isn't far from Spearman where she lived, but it was huge considering I saw here everyday up until that time) so I would write her letters in order to tell her how much I missed her and how special she was to me. This particular letter did all that. It told her how much she meant to me and how much I appreciated everything she did for me and for everyone else. She was an amazing person and not just to her own family, but to everyone that she came in contact with. By her keeping this letter all this time of course made me feel very good and made me realize that even people like Grandma Rosa liked to receive letters about how much she meant to other people.

We all need to know that we are doing good for others and that we are loved. We shouldn't do things in order to receive the credit, but it is ok to get some positive reinforcement in our lives. We all have more good qualities than bad and each of us should look for the good and not the bad in others. And we should try and tell the people we love how great they are while we still have them. I was lucky enough to tell Grandma that, but I am not sure I do that for everyone in my life. That is my new goal in life, well for today it is. Tomorrow I might wake up in a bad mood and I will change my mind.

Everyone in my life has made some kind of impact on me. They have all helped me become who I am and I have taken pieces of them with me and I thank them all for that. They have all had something to give that is great.

Baby girl's first trip to Dallas/Ft. Worth

Well me and my lil baby girl took a trip last week. We went to Dallas and Fort Worth to see a whole group of very important people. We had a lot of fun, but it was tiring. Plus, when you have a large man sitting next to you on the plane it can sometimes get very uncomfortable. Usually I wouldn't mind being pushed up against the window, but when you are hotter than usual and a little bigger than usual, it can be very unsettling. Plus, he liked to pick his nose, that made it worse. Nasty habit!

So, we went to Dallas first and saw Daddy, Patty, Tara, Kam, Terri, Jaime, Mat, and the new Vincent (my newborn nephew). At the airport I had to make sure and tell my Dad is was me, since he probably didn't recognize me, being preggers and all. Not really, but I like to pretend that I am unrecognizeable. So, we did a lot of eating and some shopping, but mainly we drove a lot. Dallas is a big city and you spend a lot of time in your car. We had a great time and it was great to see my family. I really miss them! I didn't get to see all my family, but seeing a few of them is still really nice. It is good for Baby Girl Beckwith to hear their voices and know ahead of time who curses more and who is nicest to mommy.

For the weekend we met up with my bestest friends from High School. There are 4 of us girls who have started a trend of trying to meet up once a year and take a short vacay. This year we chose Ft. Worth because Kendal lives there and it was inexpensive since we didn't have to get a hotel room. It is always nice to save money. This year we had a 5th girl with us. Miss Betty Beatrice. Betty is Grace's (my cousin) 10 month old adorable daughter. It was a lot of fun having her with us. Plus, if I needed a nap I could suggest that Betty was tired and we could both get a nap. Us girls just shopped, ate, and went to a Rangers game. And of course after Betty went to sleep we stayed up late and gossiped about all the people we went to high school with. Or we told secrets about ourselves that we were too embarassed to share when we were younger. It was a lot of fun and it is great to see my girls.

BabyVincent in Aunt Tara's arm. Isn't he cute. He is so tiny.












Betty Beatrice with her pink bow. Betty was named after her Great Grandmother, Betty Jean, who is my Grandma Rosa's sister. Maybe one day there will be a little Rosie with red hair and her and Betty together can be saints just like their great-grandmas.









Grace and Makell at the Rangers game. We got beer spilt on us thanks to the guy behind us. It was nice! The game was fun and free!

Kendal and me at the Rangers game. Not so great of an angle for me.

Her first portrait

That is a view of her face from the front





This is her profile





Her feet and one of her hands

It's a Girl!

Well, this calls for changing my blue text to pink. We are having a girl! We are so happy and excited! She is healthy and has all her wonderfully, small parts. Thank you God for our healthy baby girl.

Tomorrow is Gender Day

Well tomorrow is the day we find out the gender of our lil baby. It is pretty exciting. I really don't care either way, but it will be nice to be able to call the baby a he or a she. It is funny all the things you think about before you know. For instance; I know Kevin was quite the typical little boy when he was young. He did all the bad things you think of when you think of boys. He still has a few of those bad habits today, but those are typical male characteristics, I believe.

I have always thought I wanted boys, but now that I really think about it, it is really scary. I grew up with 3 older sisters and now two of those sisters have little girls. My nieces are both very sweet, loving, and sensitive girly girls. If a boy comes into the family, is he going to urinate all over the house, run around naked, cuss at age 2, smoke at age 5, or flip everyone off behind my back? Girls don't do any of that until they are in high school and by that time parents are done being concerned with what their kids are up to.

I sit in church every Sunday and picture what our child is going to look like walking down the aisle to children's sermon, in front of the whole church. Scenario 1: A precious little red-headed little girl, wearing a beautiful, fluffy, yellow dress, with her hair perfectly brushed with a giant bow on top. Scenario 2: A red headed little boy wearing nice pants a nice shirt that is buttoned wrong and half untucked, cowboy boots that he wouldn't leave the house without, and kool-aid stained moustache. And of course he screams profanities all the way down the aisle. Of course everyone in the church laughs, but in the back of their minds they are thinking "his mother needs to get him under control."

So, that is what I have been thinking about for the last 4.5 months. Ok, I have been thinking about how great it will be to have either one too, but there are more concerns about a boy than a girl. I have to realize though that having a boy is the unknown and the unexplored for my family.

Those are my deep thoughts from Momma Cass. All my scenarios will be answered tomorrow.

Happy Birthday Tipper

Wow, how do I describe my Dad, Terry "Tipper" Butt? I wouldn't say he is a complicated man, but he is definitely hard to put into words. However, today is his birthday and I want to honor him on this day. It might be hard to describe him in words, but he is definitely worth honoring.

When I was little I wanted to be just like my Dad. I wore the tiny little wrangler jeans, red cowgirl boots, and a belt (with my name on the back) that held up a gigantic belt buckle that my Dad had won at one of his many rodeos. I wanted to ride horses, herd cattle, and chew tobacco just like him. Things changed of course as I got older. I finally realized that I didn't really want to be a cowgirl, but instead a cowgirl at heart. Oh, and chewing tobacco isn't that ladylike. That didn't mean that I didn't want to be like my Dad, I just didn't have to look just like him.

I love telling people that my Dad is a true cowboy. People think that is the neatest thing in the World. And it is. How many people have ever seen their Dad, or anyone for that matter, "break" a horse, rope a cow, doctor a cow, or ride a tractor? Not many people work with their hands or the land like my Daddy does. Sure he is the boss now and has people do most of the work for him, but believe me, he put in his long, hard days of work. Farmers and ranchers don't get a lot of respect or money for that matter. My dad and other cowboys are very overlooked for their dedication and hard work.

My dad is more than a cowboy though. He is a tough love, no bullshit, generous, loving man. He might look tough, but he still tells his daughters that he loves them and kisses them hello and goodbye. Although he has never had the chance (and hopefully never will), I know he would step in front of a bus for us or hurt anyone that hurts us. I'll never forget the way he held me and my sister the day our Grandma died. He knew how much pain we were in and he wanted nothing other than to let us know he was there for us and we could cry in his arms. There is nothing better than having your strong daddy embrace you and make you feel like you are protected from the World.

He was my basketball coach as a young kid; he came to almost every track meet, basketball game, softball game, spelling bee, or operation I had. We might not be two peas in a pod (I am a little bit more like my Mom than Dad), but I embrace every piece of me that is essentially him and am thankful for all the traits that I got from him. I hope that every year we will only grow closer and that I will learn from him all the aspects that make him who he is.

Happy Birthday Daddy! I hope it is a great one and that you know how much you mean to me!

4 months later

So, four months later and the lil baby is growing pretty well. I am sure my Mom will say that my little face is getting chubby too, because she loves to say that. I know she means it in the most loving way possible, but I guess it is the truth too. I will say though, that we took this picture right after I had a large sandwich for lunch, so that adds a little bit of girth in my belly too. Just pointing that out.

We go back to the doctor this week to hear the heartbeat again and then our next appointment will be to determine the gender of the baby. I hope we can convince our doctor to schedule the appointment before the Memorial Day, so we'll see. I will probably post the results on this blog when we find out the gender, so be sure and check it. I think we should probably start a voting for everyone to post what they think the gender might be. So, if you feel like joining in on the voting go ahead and post what your vote is and I will put up the results and some of you will have a 50% chance of being right. I will not vote, because I don't want the baby to find out one day that I though it was going to be one and it ended up being the other. So, I'll stay out of the voting. It'll be fun to find out what everyone else thinks though.

Kevin's parents have already said that they are CONVINCED that it is a girl. So there is their vote!

Another Big Birthday

Well, today, April 14th, is another big birthday for someone who I love very much. He is an amazing person with a heart full of passion, ambition, and lots of generosity. It is my lobster, Kevin Beckwith's birthday. The reason he is my lobster is because lobsters mate for life. Cheesey, yes, but that's how we are. We cheese it up in our household. I have always been a little cheesey and now I have someone to share my cheesiness with.

Kevin doesn't really like to go all out for his birthday, but now that he is married to me, I make sure that he remembers it is his birthday. This is a special day for me. If it weren't for the day of his birth, I would be all alone with no one to share my life with. At this point, I would be pregnant with no baby's daddy. That would be rough. However, today is the day of his birth and it is a celebration not only for me, but for him, our future children, and anyone else who knows and loves him. Kevin is one of those people that when he gets an idea in his head, he goes full throttle until that idea has become a reality. And you are one lucky person when that idea is to love and give to you as much as possible, because he never fails to do everything to the best of his ability. For the last 2-1/2 years he has been a wonderful husband and best friend. We have a lot of laughs, a few cries, and a lot of memorable moments. Our most memorable moments have yet to come and I am excited and grateful that I get to share them with him. Everything is more exciting when you feel like you can share it with someone who feels as passionate about the same things.

Kevin can be serious at times, but at home with me, he is fun and silly just like me. We really make each other laugh and that is one thing that I cherish most about him. I am not a real serious person and I could not stand being married to someone who doesn't fine humor in most things. I can't imagine what life is like for those who never laugh.

So, here's to you, Kevin Beckwith, on your birthday. You are a wonderful man with a lot to give to me, our tiny little baby, and the World. Your passion and ambition is contagious and you have inspired and taught many people, including me. Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday Big Sis

Today on April 12th in 1979 my big sissie, Tara, was born. I wish my Mom could fill us in on the story of her birth, but maybe next time. My Mom is really good about that. Every birthday she calls me and tells me the story of my birth and I am sure she tells Tara and my other 2 sisters their story too. I don't know very many other people who know the story of their birth, so I definitely feel special.

Back to the birthday girl. She is tall with a dark complexion, beautiful smile, and a heart full of generosity and love. She is the one sister who I had most of my knock down, drag out fights with when we were younger, but she is also the sister who I have shared a lot of pain and tough times with, that has brought us very close. Not that the four of us sisters haven't shared a lot of pain and tough times all together, but Tara and I were the youngest and therefore spent more alone time with one another. I am not sure what I would have done without my 3 sisiters. God knew what he was doing when he gave Mom 4 girls. We needed eachother and we always will. A bond between sisters is so different than any friendship or relationship. Sure we might fight more than friends would, but I know we will always make up eventually.

We are all very similar and at the same time very different. Tara is very loving. She really knows how to care for those that might not be that great at caring for themselves. She works in a nursing home and I am sure she is very popular around there. She is also generous with her time, her love, and her support. She is one of those people that you can always count on to help you when you need it. She might not always get it back in return, but she'll never stop doing it. She might say she will, but she won't. She is also very fun and can get a little crazy. When the 4 of us are all together that is when it gets really crazy. I guess we just feel comfortable around eachother and we let it all hang out. Tara loves to have dance offs with the rest of us. She usually pulls out her dance moves that she has been keeping dormant until the right moment. It is quite a show!

So Happy Birthday Tara! I hope it is a great birthday and I am sorry I am not there to share it with you.

Instructions for Caring for Baby

This one, I was sure was ok.




This one will be really hard for Kevin to understand why it is wrong.



Ummmmmm....isn't this how everyone does it???



I have to agree with this one. I don't agree with tv right on the crib, maybe a flat screen built into the crib.

Are Dumb People Making my Baby Dumb?

When you are pregnant the doctor (and everyone else you know) tells you what you can and can't do that will harm or help your unborn child. These days you can't eat soft cheeses, lunch meat, particular seafoods, and too much of anything is not supposed to be good. Oh, and you can't drink alocohol or caffeine or smoke like our parents did when they were having children. But now I am beginning to wonder about other things. I believe some research needs to be done on whether or not interacting with "dumb" people is harming your unborn child's future of being intelligent.

It is one thing for each of us to have to endure the conversations on a daily basis with "dumb" people, but could it be harming an unborn child to have to hear those conversations from inside the womb? I know that when I watch "The Girls Next Door" on the E! Channel that definitely makes me lose a few brain cells. Or when I read my US Weekly every week, that doesn't help my intelligence. The real question is: Do I have to give those things up too while I'm pregnant? Are these shows, magazines, and interactions with lesser intelligent people harming my baby? Should I be reading Wall Street Journal like Kevin or watch nothing but the History Channel?

Then again, I really don't want my child to be boring and only interested in politics and world matters. To have a balanced life I feel like a person should have a serious side as well as a side that has guilty pleasures like "The Girls Next Door". I think for now, I will continue to watch my fav shows, read my juicy gossip, and not turn my nose up to the lesser intelligent around me, but if anyone finds research on this matter please let me know. I will take a chance until the facts are proven.

Vacation Time

We went to Freeport in the Bahamas. It was beautiful as most places in the Caribbean are, but it was also very quiet. We stayed in the Xanadu Beach Resort, that was once owned by Howard Hughes. It is a large tower that was built in the late 1970's; however, we were 2 of about 15 guests. The other 15 must have found the very cheap night rate that we did as well.

It was not a bad place, but it was vacant and eerily quiet. Kevin really enjoys places that make him feel like he is still in the 80's, and he was once at the Xanadu in the 80's, so he probably felt right at home. We accomplished what we had hoped: relaxing, getting some sun, and as Kevin calls it "unplugging" from the World.

We really enjoyed it and I would suggest it to anyone who likes to be alone on a quiet island. Freeport does have a town center that was pretty happening though. There was a band that played on weekend nights and they were really good. Good time had by all.

Introducing the Baby Bump

Well, I promised my sister Tara that I would not hide my baby bump from the World. It's not that I want to hide it, but I don't want people to view it if they don't want to see my increasing belly. All my family is in Texas though, so I guess if they want to see me and baby bump Beckwith grow for the next few months, then this is for them. I guess this will be the first of many belly shots that I will post, so view at your own risk.

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That second picture is a camelia not the baby bump. Just in case anyone was wondering. I know it isn't very big yet, but it is there. Due October 12th!!!!