This little light of mine

This weekend was very interesting. What started off as a supportive wife retreat turned into one of the best weekends I have had in a long time. Our church offered a retreat this weekend that was a father/daughter combo. The retreat was based on music and how Saturday night music can lead into Sunday morning music. The father/daughter combo was Don and Emily Sailers. Some of you, not me, but some of you might know Emily as 1/2 of the Indigo Girls.

I had no idea what the Indigo Girls sang or why she would be coming here with her Dad, who is a very well respected preacher. Friday night was a concert, very small and intimate, and Saturday was an all day lecture series. Kevin and I went Friday night and I was so surprised about how much I enjoyed Emily and her amazing voice. The two of them opened my heart and mind on so many levels. The Indigo Girls are a two woman group that is very liberal minded in their song writing and they focus a lot on love and social issues. I do not consider myself liberal at all, but what she said and what she sang about made me realize that at the end of the day, no matter what I believe is over ridden by a greater love. I know, cheesy, but it is true. We are not here to debate on who is right, but to love one another and to find the greater good in every human being.

I guess I realized too, that I have the political views more like a preacher than a Democrat or Republican. I am very "right" on some issues (won't open that forum) and "left" on some too. I do believe that I should help those that can not help themselves. I don't mean that I need to travel the World to feed the starving, but I can help those right here in my community. I hear so many people say that they don't want to help lazy people that take it for granted. I think that those lazy people might one day wake up and realize that someone has been helping them inspite of their unwillingness to help themselves and get up and do something. Naive, maybe, but if it worked it would be worth it. If it doesn't work, it would be their own loss.

I also realized that I have been drowning in a sea of work and responsibility and have not been living my life to the fullest. I have been resentful because I married into some of this drowning work and have been dwelling on it. I have felt sorry for myself because I can't take a trip with my husband and leave Sallie Rose with her Texas grandparents to spend alone time. I have been mad at Kevin a lot for his responsibilites that have now become mine. I realize that I am human and can be upset and feel sorry for myself, but 7 or 8 months of feeling sorry for myself is ridiculous. There are more important matters in life than dwelling on being overworked.

On the opposite side, I have been very bored at work. This makes me feel useless and angry that my education and talents are not being used. I am working on finding a way to fill my creative needs and be satisfied at work. It is hard. I don't want to clean any more product shelves, I don't want to look on Facebook all day, but I know that God put me in that office for a reason and I am trying to make the best of it each week.

This weeknd I loved my baby more. I kissed my husband more. I thought about all my family and friends that I miss and how much I love them too. I danced with Sallie Rose, I talked to Kevin (really talked, not just nodded my head and pretended to listen), we went to the playgroud, we went to church and I hugged my 98 year old friend, we ate lunch out, we took great naps, we went to the park, we finger painted, and then I gave Sallie Rose a bath and rocked her to sleep. Then, then, I made smores cupcakes. They are for someone's birthday, and for my enjoyment too. And of course, a spiritually fullfilling weekend couldn't end without thinking about Grandma Rosa Lee and a good cry. It wasn't a sad cry, but yet a cry of gratefulness that 2 years and 2 months later, I still hear her telling me that everything will be ok. A love so deep that your heart hurts when that person is gone, is a gift from God.

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!

Off to watch the Kardashians. I know what you are thinking, but I have to have a good laugh. Remember, we have to look for the good in every human being, even the Kardashians.