Looking out the window in awe of our Texas flag
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
This little light of mine
This weekend was very interesting. What started off as a supportive wife retreat turned into one of the best weekends I have had in a long time. Our church offered a retreat this weekend that was a father/daughter combo. The retreat was based on music and how Saturday night music can lead into Sunday morning music. The father/daughter combo was Don and Emily Sailers. Some of you, not me, but some of you might know Emily as 1/2 of the Indigo Girls.
I had no idea what the Indigo Girls sang or why she would be coming here with her Dad, who is a very well respected preacher. Friday night was a concert, very small and intimate, and Saturday was an all day lecture series. Kevin and I went Friday night and I was so surprised about how much I enjoyed Emily and her amazing voice. The two of them opened my heart and mind on so many levels. The Indigo Girls are a two woman group that is very liberal minded in their song writing and they focus a lot on love and social issues. I do not consider myself liberal at all, but what she said and what she sang about made me realize that at the end of the day, no matter what I believe is over ridden by a greater love. I know, cheesy, but it is true. We are not here to debate on who is right, but to love one another and to find the greater good in every human being.
I guess I realized too, that I have the political views more like a preacher than a Democrat or Republican. I am very "right" on some issues (won't open that forum) and "left" on some too. I do believe that I should help those that can not help themselves. I don't mean that I need to travel the World to feed the starving, but I can help those right here in my community. I hear so many people say that they don't want to help lazy people that take it for granted. I think that those lazy people might one day wake up and realize that someone has been helping them inspite of their unwillingness to help themselves and get up and do something. Naive, maybe, but if it worked it would be worth it. If it doesn't work, it would be their own loss.
I also realized that I have been drowning in a sea of work and responsibility and have not been living my life to the fullest. I have been resentful because I married into some of this drowning work and have been dwelling on it. I have felt sorry for myself because I can't take a trip with my husband and leave Sallie Rose with her Texas grandparents to spend alone time. I have been mad at Kevin a lot for his responsibilites that have now become mine. I realize that I am human and can be upset and feel sorry for myself, but 7 or 8 months of feeling sorry for myself is ridiculous. There are more important matters in life than dwelling on being overworked.
On the opposite side, I have been very bored at work. This makes me feel useless and angry that my education and talents are not being used. I am working on finding a way to fill my creative needs and be satisfied at work. It is hard. I don't want to clean any more product shelves, I don't want to look on Facebook all day, but I know that God put me in that office for a reason and I am trying to make the best of it each week.
This weeknd I loved my baby more. I kissed my husband more. I thought about all my family and friends that I miss and how much I love them too. I danced with Sallie Rose, I talked to Kevin (really talked, not just nodded my head and pretended to listen), we went to the playgroud, we went to church and I hugged my 98 year old friend, we ate lunch out, we took great naps, we went to the park, we finger painted, and then I gave Sallie Rose a bath and rocked her to sleep. Then, then, I made smores cupcakes. They are for someone's birthday, and for my enjoyment too. And of course, a spiritually fullfilling weekend couldn't end without thinking about Grandma Rosa Lee and a good cry. It wasn't a sad cry, but yet a cry of gratefulness that 2 years and 2 months later, I still hear her telling me that everything will be ok. A love so deep that your heart hurts when that person is gone, is a gift from God.
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!
Off to watch the Kardashians. I know what you are thinking, but I have to have a good laugh. Remember, we have to look for the good in every human being, even the Kardashians.
I had no idea what the Indigo Girls sang or why she would be coming here with her Dad, who is a very well respected preacher. Friday night was a concert, very small and intimate, and Saturday was an all day lecture series. Kevin and I went Friday night and I was so surprised about how much I enjoyed Emily and her amazing voice. The two of them opened my heart and mind on so many levels. The Indigo Girls are a two woman group that is very liberal minded in their song writing and they focus a lot on love and social issues. I do not consider myself liberal at all, but what she said and what she sang about made me realize that at the end of the day, no matter what I believe is over ridden by a greater love. I know, cheesy, but it is true. We are not here to debate on who is right, but to love one another and to find the greater good in every human being.
I guess I realized too, that I have the political views more like a preacher than a Democrat or Republican. I am very "right" on some issues (won't open that forum) and "left" on some too. I do believe that I should help those that can not help themselves. I don't mean that I need to travel the World to feed the starving, but I can help those right here in my community. I hear so many people say that they don't want to help lazy people that take it for granted. I think that those lazy people might one day wake up and realize that someone has been helping them inspite of their unwillingness to help themselves and get up and do something. Naive, maybe, but if it worked it would be worth it. If it doesn't work, it would be their own loss.
I also realized that I have been drowning in a sea of work and responsibility and have not been living my life to the fullest. I have been resentful because I married into some of this drowning work and have been dwelling on it. I have felt sorry for myself because I can't take a trip with my husband and leave Sallie Rose with her Texas grandparents to spend alone time. I have been mad at Kevin a lot for his responsibilites that have now become mine. I realize that I am human and can be upset and feel sorry for myself, but 7 or 8 months of feeling sorry for myself is ridiculous. There are more important matters in life than dwelling on being overworked.
On the opposite side, I have been very bored at work. This makes me feel useless and angry that my education and talents are not being used. I am working on finding a way to fill my creative needs and be satisfied at work. It is hard. I don't want to clean any more product shelves, I don't want to look on Facebook all day, but I know that God put me in that office for a reason and I am trying to make the best of it each week.
This weeknd I loved my baby more. I kissed my husband more. I thought about all my family and friends that I miss and how much I love them too. I danced with Sallie Rose, I talked to Kevin (really talked, not just nodded my head and pretended to listen), we went to the playgroud, we went to church and I hugged my 98 year old friend, we ate lunch out, we took great naps, we went to the park, we finger painted, and then I gave Sallie Rose a bath and rocked her to sleep. Then, then, I made smores cupcakes. They are for someone's birthday, and for my enjoyment too. And of course, a spiritually fullfilling weekend couldn't end without thinking about Grandma Rosa Lee and a good cry. It wasn't a sad cry, but yet a cry of gratefulness that 2 years and 2 months later, I still hear her telling me that everything will be ok. A love so deep that your heart hurts when that person is gone, is a gift from God.
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!
Off to watch the Kardashians. I know what you are thinking, but I have to have a good laugh. Remember, we have to look for the good in every human being, even the Kardashians.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Pictures
Sara and Maddy at the Nutcracker
Ally, Maddy, and Sallie Rose
The Butt girls with their Daddy
Sallie Rose, Mayme and Pa on Christmas Day
Vin and Sallie Rose playing peek a boo
Sallie Rose's Michael Jackson pose. I don't know how I got this, but it cracks me up. She must have learned this from her Uncle Mat while we were there. 
Proof that she really does love Grumps
Aunt Tara demonstrating
Just the girls hanging out
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Happy New Year
Wow, so much has happened in the last month that I am beside myself on what to post. I have lots of pictures to post, but that will have to wait until the weekend. I'll admit it, most of my blogging happens while I am at work, on my 15 minute breaks. Ha, I doubt my boss knows that I get 15 minute breaks.
We had a great Christmas, New Years and time off from work. I got to spend a lot of time with Sallie Rose, which I enjoyed. She is talking so much and I am really starting to miss her more and more while I work. I am so proud of her and what a little girl she is already turning into. She is smart, funny, and of course adorably cute. She did go through a phase over Christmas where she wanted only Mommy and really didn't want anyone else touching her. She warmed up to people, but that didn't mean they could touch her.
She loved playing with her cousins. She has a 14 year old, a 5 year old, and an 18 month old cousin. I really loved seeing her interact with each one of them. It was fun to see how she reacted differently to each one of them.
Our trip was too short and too long all at the same time. Nothing is as good as sleeping in your own bed and not living out of a suitcase, but being with my family is where my heart always has been. Despite the arguments, disagreements, or whatever happens, I still love being with my family. One day, I hope to live within driving distance of them, so it will make travel easier with kids. For now, we fly and we deal with.
Other than the holidays, our lives are pretty normal. Sallie Rose is dancing, clapping, playing with all her new toys, and using more and more sign language. And the girl talks so much lately. She made me so proud yesterday. We have been using thank you a lot lately and while I was at work she told Susan thank you for giving her something. Awww, makes my heart melt. Please, thank you, and your welcome are a huge deal to me. No child of mine will go without saying thank you to everyone, if I can help it.
Friday we are going to tour a preschool and that is exciting for me. I want her to have more child interaction. I just hope the teachers are as good as Susan. It will only be 2 half days a week, so she will still get plenty of learning and play time with Susan, or Susu as Sallie Rose calls her.
Happy New Year everyone! I made a resolution to not talk about how little or how much money I might or might not have, or how much I might or might not work. I have everything I need. Our house has been super cold since we got home and it really makes me think about the homeless and how much they really need, a home, a warm home. Make it a good year ya'll!
We had a great Christmas, New Years and time off from work. I got to spend a lot of time with Sallie Rose, which I enjoyed. She is talking so much and I am really starting to miss her more and more while I work. I am so proud of her and what a little girl she is already turning into. She is smart, funny, and of course adorably cute. She did go through a phase over Christmas where she wanted only Mommy and really didn't want anyone else touching her. She warmed up to people, but that didn't mean they could touch her.
She loved playing with her cousins. She has a 14 year old, a 5 year old, and an 18 month old cousin. I really loved seeing her interact with each one of them. It was fun to see how she reacted differently to each one of them.
Our trip was too short and too long all at the same time. Nothing is as good as sleeping in your own bed and not living out of a suitcase, but being with my family is where my heart always has been. Despite the arguments, disagreements, or whatever happens, I still love being with my family. One day, I hope to live within driving distance of them, so it will make travel easier with kids. For now, we fly and we deal with.
Other than the holidays, our lives are pretty normal. Sallie Rose is dancing, clapping, playing with all her new toys, and using more and more sign language. And the girl talks so much lately. She made me so proud yesterday. We have been using thank you a lot lately and while I was at work she told Susan thank you for giving her something. Awww, makes my heart melt. Please, thank you, and your welcome are a huge deal to me. No child of mine will go without saying thank you to everyone, if I can help it.
Friday we are going to tour a preschool and that is exciting for me. I want her to have more child interaction. I just hope the teachers are as good as Susan. It will only be 2 half days a week, so she will still get plenty of learning and play time with Susan, or Susu as Sallie Rose calls her.
Happy New Year everyone! I made a resolution to not talk about how little or how much money I might or might not have, or how much I might or might not work. I have everything I need. Our house has been super cold since we got home and it really makes me think about the homeless and how much they really need, a home, a warm home. Make it a good year ya'll!
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