The mommy Diaries

Dear Diary,
Today was the 2nd worst day I have ever had in my life, besides the day that my Grandma died.

Sallie has been sick for 2 days and was up all night the 1st night, which of course means I was up all night too. The 2nd night was only half a night up all night. I am also under a deadline at work for Thursday and my boss has nicely reminded me every day. So, as the world has proven, your busiest week, one of your children gets sick. No big deal. I email my boss, tell him ill be in after lunch so I can take Sallie to the dr. My kids come first, always. Then, my life safer, Susan will be at the house at 1:00.

I took Lulie to school, and Sallie and I head to Target before her dr. We get excited to spend alone time together. We stop at Starbucks for a apple juice and green tea. I let her ride in this horribly, obnoxious cart that I can't steer. She loves that cart for some reason.

As we are walking through the sandals aisle, having a nice time, I set my hot green tea down on the other seat across from her in the cart. It was so hot it burned my lips. As we headed down the aisle, the cart jerked a bit and we both reached for our drinks. I was too late to catch mine and the hot green tea spilled all down Sallies leg. Sallie screams and cries a lot, but this scream was a scream I have dreaded all her life. It was a scream that would happen if her finger was caught in a door. She screamed, I pulled her out of the cart, got her drenched shoes, socks and pants off and made sure she wasn't literally on fire. As soon as I realized that, I fell to the ground with her and I wept. The minute she saw me crying, she stopped and said, "mommy dont cry, i know it was an accident." A target employee came over and said not to worry and for me to try to stop crying so Sallie would be ok. Sallie again reassured me that it was an accident.

Granted, I Hadn't sleep in 2 days, that moment was so heart breaking, I still am crying thinking about it later in the day. The pain of inflicting bodily harm on my harmless child made me fall to my knees and cry. It felt terrible and I will probably never forget that moment. I have lost my cool with her probably 2 times and other than discipline, I have never hurt my baby to where she screams like that. I pray it never happens again. I couldn't handle it. I never want my kids to feel pain, and I never want it to come from something I do whether on accident or not.

Babes

Can't get enough of these two lately. And they adore each other.

My randoms

I thought it would be better to post my random photos instead of "not having enough time" to put a whole paragraph together.

Christmas pictures: 2 months late

I tried to post these pictures a month ago and it never worked. So, Christmas all over again!

Organic farm visit

We went to soperton, Georgia, for a photo shoot on an organic farm. Lulie had been chosen to be one of the baby models. When I talked to the photographer she asked if I would be willing to let Sallie Rose be photographed as well. So, we loaded up and drove 80 miles to an organic farm.

Kevin was not thrilled about going, but he probably had the best time out of all of us. The farm owners were so nice and the farm was very large and very interesting. They grow almost everything, except wheat. We all had the best time and hopefully we will get some great free photos of the girls out of the deal. We did get a large box of organic, fresh veggies. And they are delicious. Sallie Rose ate a whole carrot on the ride home. She loved it that much!

Being at the farm made me really long for my home and my Daddy. I wished we were in Spearman, Texas, and my girls were running around my Dad's fields being photographed. We will definitely do that soon.

Here are all the Photos I took. We couldn't take many since they were shooting them for a website, etc. hopefully, we will have some soon.

Love these girls

We have had a very busy 2013, mostly with illnesses, sadly. I am thinking we will get all of our illness out of the way now and be healthy the rest of the year! One can hope.

They both have been perfect, little, happy babies and I love them both more than I can stand some days.

Pre-k

Today, Kevin and I went to our first school tour. I was very sad the whole time. I am not ready for the beginning of real school, because then before I know it she will be 18.

Me: Sallie, we looked at a school for you today
Sr: "Big girl school?
Me: yes, but mommy was sad because I am not ready for you to go to big girl school. I don't want you to grow anymore.
Sr: ok mommy, I'll stop eating vegetables so I won't grow and you will be happy

I wish it were that easy. I wish I were not so sad either, I feel like I have lost my baby. I feel a little over dramatic too, but I am seriously crushed to think about her starting Pre-k. I can't decide if it is guilt of not being home with her everyday or if it is just natural. I wish I would have had the luxury to be home with her everyday since she was born, but it didn't work out that way. Poor Lulie, I feel like I am never home with her.

I just pray that she will be safe wherever she ends up for school.